Peoples’ lives are like clocks in the way they are counted. We call everything up to halfway through as counting up and everything after as counting down. Time moves differently for a man in his 20s than it does for a man in his 50s. The weight of time bears down more heavily on the young man (this young man) because there is so much to do that the idea of wasted time chips away at the mind every day. But this does not mean the old man is not, too, carrying the weight of time. He’s had time to do what could be done, whether or not he’d done it. But now time forces itself into his thoughts and says, “I’ll be gone soon.” And this thought forces him to decide to either do more or reflect on what he hadn’t done. And this thought carries the weight of the world as the world carries its weight.
I wrote this two years ago, and I’m re-reading it now, and it’s so bad that it’s good but not very good at all. In my opinion. I’d recommend your best local therapist.